Painful Awakening
So last night I feel asleep on the couch and my oldest son woke up about midnight. I was laying on my side and he climbed on top of me and laid on my side and fell back asleep. What a beautiful feeling that was, my six year old curled up on me like when he was in my belly, both of us our breathing in synch, sleeping together so peaceful. I know I won't have these kind of moments for much longer with him and I know it will never be long enough and that once it is gone, I will yearn for those lost times. I constantly remind myself to enjoy each moment and just be in it. My boys are growing up before my eyes and I need to cherish these times. My oldest just got a math certificate for math achievement in kindergarten. It makes me so happy that he is doing so well and his report cards say he is attentive and enthusiastic to learn. I am so proud of him. I could talk about my boys all day, I love them both so much. My little guy is in the stage of running hugs; I just love watching his joyous face and smile as he runs across the floor and into my open arms It is the best feeling to hold my boys in hugs and I worry already sometimes about the day that ends, but that is why I keep trying to live in the moment with them. Okay, back to my morning.
So about 5 minutes into our snuggling, my body started to hurt from the pressure of my son on me but I held out for a while because I loved laying so close to him but finally the pain greatly outweighed the pleasure so I told him let's go lay in your bed. When he wakes up in the middle of the night that is what he wants; Mommy to sleep with him. Well, I neglected to take my late night mats - my pain med, my restless leg med, and a muscle relaxant. So after writhing in bed from the pain for about an hour, I got up at 6 and took my meds which have yet to kick in and it is almost 8. Time to take my 2nd oxycodone, I try to take them as far apart as possible to avoid the zonked feeling I get when I take a 2nd oxy any time before 2 hours after my last pill..
The pain is similar to my daily restless leg painful aches but the ache is all over my body. My spine hurts from my neck to my tailbone with tingling, pins and needles and my RLS ache takes over from my hips down to the tips of my toes which are numb and tingling. Besides the spine pain, there is a constant, stinging pain to the right of my spine. My hands and fingers are okay right now just stiff but if you told me you could cut off my feet and I would never have this pain in them again, I would be so tempted. And my mind is just scattered, consumed by the pain. I get distracted from it for a few seconds as I type but the pain is throbbing and aching in the background, not letting my mind go. My feet are still writhing in pain as i sit in weird positions, my feet contorted trying in vain to find a better position to stop the pain.
The 2nd oxy begins to kick in after only about 10 minutes and I finally start to feel some relief; the all over pain stops and now what remains is my normal, constant pain in my feet, hands,and sporadic neck, spine and back pain. All of my pain is a bit duller except my feet and when I stand, my legs are stiff and weak as usual but the pain is finally at a manageable level. Thank you God, relief has arrived. This is my typical pain every morning until my first dose of meds kick in but it is usually less intense, especially since most nights I wake up to take another oxy. between 2 - 6 am. Regardless though the pain is still bad enough every morning that I have to wait at least a half hour before doing anything, How nice it would be to wake up without any pain one morning. When I open my eyes and am alert, the pain just bombardes me and I limp to the bathroom to take my meds and the countdown begins for them to kick in. It would be so great to not feel that way every morning but I know that I have it easy compared to others out there. I also have a husband who takes the morning shift feeding and taking care of the boys until I can walk around but I always hear about it and he cannot understand how hard it is for me or he wouldn't be so resentful about it. Whatever, I do all I can do for the kids all day long once my meds kick in so if he is angry that he needs to handle them alone for a half hour, that is his problem. He just came in yelling so now after finally getting the pain under control, I am angry with him. It is all ever ask of him, to cover the mornings feeding the kids pancakes or cereal. By the time that is over, I can usually function. Alright, enough venting about that. I think we probably all feel that way a lot that no one can fully understand what we go through except each other.
Well, I better go relieve him now from such a difficult morning feeding our kids
Hope your day started better than mine and I will write again soon. 2 days in a row - WOW.
xoxo
Lupus Celebrity
So about 5 minutes into our snuggling, my body started to hurt from the pressure of my son on me but I held out for a while because I loved laying so close to him but finally the pain greatly outweighed the pleasure so I told him let's go lay in your bed. When he wakes up in the middle of the night that is what he wants; Mommy to sleep with him. Well, I neglected to take my late night mats - my pain med, my restless leg med, and a muscle relaxant. So after writhing in bed from the pain for about an hour, I got up at 6 and took my meds which have yet to kick in and it is almost 8. Time to take my 2nd oxycodone, I try to take them as far apart as possible to avoid the zonked feeling I get when I take a 2nd oxy any time before 2 hours after my last pill..
The pain is similar to my daily restless leg painful aches but the ache is all over my body. My spine hurts from my neck to my tailbone with tingling, pins and needles and my RLS ache takes over from my hips down to the tips of my toes which are numb and tingling. Besides the spine pain, there is a constant, stinging pain to the right of my spine. My hands and fingers are okay right now just stiff but if you told me you could cut off my feet and I would never have this pain in them again, I would be so tempted. And my mind is just scattered, consumed by the pain. I get distracted from it for a few seconds as I type but the pain is throbbing and aching in the background, not letting my mind go. My feet are still writhing in pain as i sit in weird positions, my feet contorted trying in vain to find a better position to stop the pain.
The 2nd oxy begins to kick in after only about 10 minutes and I finally start to feel some relief; the all over pain stops and now what remains is my normal, constant pain in my feet, hands,and sporadic neck, spine and back pain. All of my pain is a bit duller except my feet and when I stand, my legs are stiff and weak as usual but the pain is finally at a manageable level. Thank you God, relief has arrived. This is my typical pain every morning until my first dose of meds kick in but it is usually less intense, especially since most nights I wake up to take another oxy. between 2 - 6 am. Regardless though the pain is still bad enough every morning that I have to wait at least a half hour before doing anything, How nice it would be to wake up without any pain one morning. When I open my eyes and am alert, the pain just bombardes me and I limp to the bathroom to take my meds and the countdown begins for them to kick in. It would be so great to not feel that way every morning but I know that I have it easy compared to others out there. I also have a husband who takes the morning shift feeding and taking care of the boys until I can walk around but I always hear about it and he cannot understand how hard it is for me or he wouldn't be so resentful about it. Whatever, I do all I can do for the kids all day long once my meds kick in so if he is angry that he needs to handle them alone for a half hour, that is his problem. He just came in yelling so now after finally getting the pain under control, I am angry with him. It is all ever ask of him, to cover the mornings feeding the kids pancakes or cereal. By the time that is over, I can usually function. Alright, enough venting about that. I think we probably all feel that way a lot that no one can fully understand what we go through except each other.
Well, I better go relieve him now from such a difficult morning feeding our kids
Hope your day started better than mine and I will write again soon. 2 days in a row - WOW.xoxo
Lupus Celebrity
Posted by lupuscelebrity at 5/17/2010 9:42 AM 
Categories: .pain, lupus, lupus sle. flare
Tags: pain flare
Categories: .pain, lupus, lupus sle. flare
Tags: pain flare
I mean, cute site. Well done. Great Hidden object and Mahjong for canada or new Download Games collection, and new Tank Games, Squzzle.
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